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Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
But at least it makes me
RelapseIt’s like counting
along your limbs -
remembering a time
‘just one more’
made you feel better.
- & you’re sitting there
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s
I can’t feel my toes and at first I think
It’s just my toes.
I can cover them up.
I can warm them.
It spreads, like fire,
I glance away for a second, it seems, and my feet are cold
That’s funny, I didn’t feel that
Maybe I’ll cover them up too
I’ll warm them up.
I’ll take a nap
Maybe a short rest will make it all better, warm them
What’s that? How long has it been?
My legs… are you still mine..
Why has my breath left me, short?
Has everything but deserted me?
What about you, are you still here?
Are you still with me?
And before I can say goodbye, I think my thoughts are leaving me too –
Sleeping Beautyshe’s in love with a character who
never existed but in the labyrinth of her head:
a patchwork composition of beautiful, lengthy words
she’d heard in her catatonic state; coma living
day in and day out, reliant on the salvation
of a man made of foreign wishing
and imperfection and necessity – an ignorance
of the less than ideal perception of self she’d
come to fear, absention stained romantic to the point
where daydreams were a standard for survival
(real living is for the purposeful of heart,
he loves her in her sleep)
We fight for our dream.
We're just waiting to die.
The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.
The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.
So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?
Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?
Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"
the name that cuts like a knife,
it's all that you see inside,
is breaking with every breath I take
the only thing I can't seem to face.
She does not have,
She has many of them.
A million shields,
a million personalities,
She's always changing,
to fit every person around her.
If one were to ask why,
she would answer with,
I will never reveal my weaknesses,
because she's evil.
She hates everyone,
stupider than her is barely tolerable,
smarter than her is too scary,
She hates it all.
She leaves the world behind,
To one she has dreamt of,
she will smile,
because she is truly happy alone.
She is not evil,
She does not hate you,
She is not dishonest,
She simply wants to be alone.
Battle in my MindEat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
I love you..
wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.
she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"
in that moment,
we forget to exist.
We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.
It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.
We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.
There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so
In The Daylight
In The Daylight
A false downfall
An unexpected revival
Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness
In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest
I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic
I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid
A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete
Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat
Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.
In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.
There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop
of seafoam thronesFrom Atlas’ hands she wept to me,
atop Africas and South Atlantics;
this is one situation unaffected by
ember eyes and windy lashes
(it has no anatomy).
You are sparrows stranded
in tiny crevices and cliffside love,
though you rebuke flight
in the fear of chipping feathers.
So what do you do?
You reach for my soul,
coveting flight with shaking
and perhaps I’ll let you:
With flytrap lips and
glass shaped hips…
you are unfit for anything but
(But beauty isn’t everything)
Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.
But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.
That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.
But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.
No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.
So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.
I see youDark and looming,
With long black hair,
And piercing white eyes,
I see you there.
Private or public,
With no certain reason,
You follow me around,
No matter the season.
Accident or purpose,
When I look your way,
You disappear really fast
no matter, always.
You remember when,
Jungle gym, you
Decided to become my
Undeniable best friend.
That day was
The best day since,
Right after wards,
Nothing separated us and
Grew love out of the
Even when we thought the
Find a way to
Us away from each other into
Random people's arm,
Happened and now we
Recite our long awaited vows.
I likeI like the way the rain falls,
I like to see the sun;
I like to eat ice cream
And I like to have fun.
I like to see the seasons,
I like to smell flowers;
I like to paint pictures
And I like to imagine I have powers.
I like music and movies,
I like to bake;
I like to pet animals,
And I like to eat cake.
I like to see the sun rise,
I like to sleep the whole day through;
But the thing that I like the most
Is to know I met you.
TalkAs I am sitting at a cafe,
A man sits next to me;
We begin to talk for hours,
Sipping on some tea.
We talk about our interest,
And talk about our hates;
We talk about our lives,
And we talk about fate.
We talk about our hardships,
We talk about our pride;
We talk about our loves,
and about those who have died.
We talk about our dreams,
We talk about our hopes;
We talk about our passions,
And we talk about how we cope.
We talk on for minutes,
For hours, days, and years.
We tell each other our secrets,
With out any fear.
As i am standing at the alter,
The man says, "I do,"
And we talk about our vows
And how we made our dr
WoodsA creature had grown in the snow,
So she started looking for a place to go.
She walked and walked, to no avail,
So she sat in the snow and loudly wailed.
A man nearby heard her crying;
He invited her in to keep her from dying.
They lived together till the spring
When he told her she had to pack her things.
She wanted to stay, but he tells her no
His fiancee is coming and she mustn't know.
Her heart broke, so she ran to the woods,
Where she cried in silence as only one would.
Her heart broke so much she died soon after
Thinking of the man and his catching laughter.
Ode to booksI wish my life was like a book,
But I wouldn't know where to look.
To be Christine in the Phantom's game,
and wait for Raoul like a defenseless dame.
Or to be Mina under vampire attack,
Fighting hard even as men try to hold me back.
Maybe to be the beautiful Anabelle Lee,
And to have angels jealous of my love and me.
Even to be King Arthur's wife, Guinevere,
Who caused A love triangle causing two men tears.
I could also be Cosette, who was beaten real young,
But was saved and married the man that she loved.
I wish my life was like a book,
But I wouldn't know where to look.
Pull Me ClosePull me close
And hold me tight;
Till morning light.
Tell me how
You love me dear,
And how losing me
Would bring you fear.
Tell me that
I am the only one
That brings you light,
I am your sun.
Tell me how
I'm your soul mate,
And that our love
Was our only fate.
Pull me close
And hold me tight,
Since you will be gone
By mornings light.
Keep in Touch!
`anmari has been spreading her infectious positivity throughout our community for over 6 years. Throughout this time Ana has been at the core of all things devious, passionately developing an eclectic gallery, helping organise devmeets, participating in chat events and also recently completed dedicating her time as a Community Volunteer. We are absolutely delighted to bestow the Deviousness Award for May 2013 to `anmari, congratulations! Read More